


Our love is like the wind

by larrycaring



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Accident, Adult Harry, Angst, Death, Diary, Love, M/M, Meadow, Moving On, Soul mate, Writing, don't hate me, forest, idek, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, louisandharry are soul mates, louisandharry are twin flames, okay enough, peaceful place, sorry for this, sorry if you cry, stylinson, uuuh... AU i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 14:42:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3696161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrycaring/pseuds/larrycaring
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an unhurried pace, the man walks away and sits down cross-legged on the grass. Gently, as if the diary between his hands is the most breakable things in the world, he unlocks the book and opens it. And then he starts writing.</p><p>Translation of the fic in <span class="u">russian</span> by Angelina: click <a href="https://ficbook.net/readfic/4051271">here</a> (Ficbook).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our love is like the wind

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I wrote this a while ago, like, really. Ages ago. Because I got inspired by a picture I saw once. I hope you won't hate me too much. Ugh.
> 
> As always, I'd like to point out that English is not my mother tongue, and I have no beta. So all mistakes are mine.
> 
> _This is the pic that got me inspired. Credit to whoever made it._

**Not far away from a forest, in a meadow.**

The sun’s rays are shining through the tree branches, and the place is quiet, the nature bringing a peaceful atmosphere, until the quietness is broken by the sound of a car.

The auto-mobile pulls up at the end of the path. Again, a noise is heard when a door is opened, and then a young man gracefully gets out. He has curly hair, and he is wearing a black slim and a flannel shirt with some ray bans on. He closes the door with a sigh, before leering at the landscape in front of him.

He then takes a deep breath, as a frown makes its way on his face. He leans over the window of the passenger side to get a brown book and a pen. 

In an unhurried pace, the man walks away and sits down cross-legged on the grass. Gently, as if the diary between his hands is the most breakable things in the world, he unlocks the book and opens it.

And then he starts writing.

He pours his feelings and deepest thoughts in the book.

Through the pages, through the words, he confesses everything. He lets himself go down with the loneliness that eats him up every single day.

April, 5. 2017. 

Dear Louis,  
It’s been a while since the last time I came here. Do you remember? That meadow we discovered one day, when we were walking together. Do you remember that day? We had some days off, and we both wanted to go out and get some fresh air, to be away from London. So you ordered me to put some clothes on, and then we quickly packed some food, took the car and we went away. I think that day was probably one of the best we had. Of course, we had many good days together, all my days with you were great. But that one day? It was an amazing one. We didn’t need anything, except each other. You. And me. Together.

It was hot that day. Like today, actually. It’s summer. The place is exactly how we left it. Nothing has changed. Everything is still the same, with one exception.

You’re gone.

It’s really weird to be here without you, on my own. Last time I came here, you were be my side. So, do you remember now?

That day, we spent hours talking about the future, our future. We talked about marriage, our future house together, our future family... Our kids. We talked about all those projects we had together. Those conversations between us were our secrets, our little hope in during the darkest times. It used to make us smile. I remember that, every time we were talking about the future, you had stars in your eyes. How I wish I could see that look in your eyes again, Louis.

I miss you so much.

We had a future, me and you. Why did you leave me? Why did fate have to be so cruel? We were finally free. The truth had been revealed, we finally came out to the world... We were supposed to have this freedom. We were supposed to finally live what we had been forbidden to have. It was awful to want you when I couldn’t have you, but now it hurts even more because I had you and then I lost you. Why did you have to die in a fucking accident? That’s all I was supposed to have with you? A few years?

Why?

When I woke up this morning, I came to an inevitable conclusion: my life will always be empty without you. Every morning, I won’t have no one to love for the day. And life is surely empty when you wake up in the morning with nobody in mind to love. What will I become, without you? Nothing. Absolutely nothing... I am nothing without you.

I’m all alone. We’re born alone, we live alone and we die alone. There's a quote that says, 'Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone', and now I totally understand it. Now I’ve lost you, I do realise how true it is. And this is definitely not an illusion. I’m truly alone. And when I’m alone, I think. When I think, I remember. I remember you. I remember us. And the more I think, the more I’m hurting. The more I feel this tight feeling in my chest. And I cry.

They just don’t stop, the tears.

Please, come back to me.

Today is another day I have to get through, another day I have to live without you. And right now, all I want is your arms, so that I can be snuggled up against you, and cry. But you are no longer there. You are not here to catch me when I fall. You were my rock, Lou. Without you, I’m nothing. The other part of me is gone, my soul mate is gona.

Half of me is lost.

I miss you so much, Louis. I gave you everything, all my heart, and you left. I’ve got nothing left.

I love you to the moon and back. 

You know what is the hardest thing in all of this? When you love someone unconditionally and that you lose that love? It leaves a wound that never heals a sad and broken heart. My heart is broken and empty, and that is forever. When I thought I met the love of my life, I had you, I hold you tight, and then I lost you.

Even worst? I never wanted that our relationship ends. Neither of us did. We loved each other too much. So it’s hard to lose you because of something I didn’t choose. The end of a relationship is painful for anyone, especially when it’s our first love, and that the story ends sooner that we would have wanted. The feeling of loss is unbearable.

Damn it, Lou. Come back. Come back to me. Please. I prayed for us to live together until we both are old men. I prayed for me to leave before you, so that you could live longer. Because life needs someone like you. And you’re gone now. And it’s so hard to be left behind. It’s hard to be the one who stays. What do I have now? Nothing.

When I try to fall asleep at night, I wish you were here with me. I don’t even sleep properly now. I can’t sleep, I just can’t. It’s the hardest moment of the day. I just lay in our bed, too big for one person, and I just stay here, staring at the ceiling. I relive each and every happy memory of our life, and I see our past. No more present, no more future. Gone. Every single time, the tears are present. I wish that you, the person who meant the world to me, would come back once again and turn my life into that happy life again. But then tears rolls down my eyes, because it’s just false hopes. 

I really try my best, Louis. I really do. I know you wouldn’t want to see me mope all day. Zayn, Liam and Niall help me. They try their best. My parents, your mother and Dan... But it’s not easy to move on without you.

I’ve read somewhere that, 'Anyone who has lost a loved one knows that you don’t recover. Instead, you learn to incorporate their absence and memories into your life and channel your emotional energy toward others, and eventually, your grief will walk beside you instead of consuming you.' But I don’t want to move on without you. Because the saddest part of moving on and walking away, is knowing you won’t be chasing after me.

The wind rises, the sky is darker. I’ve probably spent hours here, writing. I have to go.

So here we go, my love.

Another pages written. For you. To you.

Pages of our story, my words for you.

Tomorrow, I’ll be visiting your grave. I do it everyday, but I couldn’t do it today. I needed to come back here. To this place, where we promised each other the moon. 

But I know I need to move on. I just need time. This is my way to do it. I’ll get there eventually, but I will never, ever forget you.

You know, Lou, if my tears could build a stairway and if my memories could build a lane, I’d walk right up to heaven and bring you home.

I will always love you. Till the end of time. Never forget that.

Wait for me. I can do it, I promise.

Yours sincerely,

Harry.

The wind blows, taking away the tears away from the man’s eyes as he closes the diary. Again, he eyes the landscape and watches the horizon. He visualizes the shadow of the man he loves, and takes a deep breath. The wind blows again, making the man’s curls fly.

And then, a smile. The memory of a sentence. A quote that fits very well. 

_« Our love is like the wind. I can’t see it, but I can feel it. »_

**Author's Note:**

> **Thank you for reading.**
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> **Hope you liked it. Go read my other fics. Of course, it's not an order. Just an advice. Please. Pretty please? :D**
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> **Kudos and comments would be much appreciated!**
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> **[Click[here](http://archiveofourown.org/users/larrycaring/pseuds/larrycaring/works) to see and read all my other works!]**
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> **Twitter:**  
> [@larrycaring](https://twitter.com/larrycaring)  
>  **Tumblr:[mystupidamours](http://mystupidamours.tumblr.com/)**


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